When Dan and I were preparing to get married (two years ago already, ay caramba), we had this naive little vision of gracing the dance floor with all four of our feet firmly under own command. We were going to take dance lessons. We didn’t want to choreograph a whole musical number, we simply wanted to have a might more grace and elegance than came naturally to us. An aura of knowing what we were doing. Essentially we wanted to know just enough to make everyone else think we knew it all.

But then we ran out of time. More accurately we procrastinated to the point of no return and decided simply to wing it. Of course that is a horrible idea when faced with actually having to stand in front of all your family and friends, a deejay, two wedding planners, caterers, serving staff, two or three bartenders, and, oh yeah, six photographers. In heels! (Me anyway. Dan had sturdier footwear.)

Luckily, Dan made the ultimate choice in best men and had by his side a BFF/former college roommate/all-around good guy and “most interesting man in the world” trainee who took us aside 15 minutes before our grand entrance and gave us the quickest lesson in dancing ever undertaken by humans anywhere. Probably.

With our new moves (this term applied loosely) firmly in hand, we took to the floor for our first dance as husband and wife. No one fell over. All toes came out the other side present and accounted for. It was a success. (Me up there: “We’ve made it this far, it’s time for you to lift me over your head like that scene from Dirty Dancing.”)

While editing one of our recent weddings I started thinking about first dances and wondering about the significance of this tradition. Does it stem from the ancient times, signaling a newly formed union through a shared rhythm and knowledge of the latest dance craze sweeping the nation? Was it merely a chance to hold your beloved close in a way the weeks of courting wouldn’t have allowed in the Victorian times of amiable respectability? I set out to find the answers.

Which were impossible to discover with one quick and nonchalant Google search, so thanks for reading. Have a nice week. Try the veal. Tip your server.

As it turns out, there doesn’t appear to be a consensus as to the official origin of this tradition. (Although, as always, scholars of the world please feel free to prove me wrong and set the record straight.) To be fair, I only spent about 30 minutes googling for answers, and if I sought out the expertise of a professional (a fancy librarian perhaps) (looking to you fancy librarian that I’m related to), then it’s possible I would have narrowed down the realistic answers to the truest of them all. As it stands, the explanations I did come across all stem from the same general flavor of reasons. So for now, I present to you a list of my favorites:

1/// The first dance originates from the times of olde when words had extra letters and big fancy balls. It was customary for the host of said ball, or perhaps a royal guest of honor…I mean honour, to kick off the dance sequence by taking to the floor for a ceremonial first dance before the masses boogied until the night was through. [source]

2/// “…the first dance is symbolic of the consummation of the wedding and marks the couple’s first cooperative engagement and joint endeavor.” [source]

3/// Symbolism being rather a big part of the wedding day, another explanation is that the first dance symbolizes the bride and groom’s new and official union, one marked with poise and partnership (and a little advice from your friends, see above). It’s the first romantic act they have completed together since becoming husband and wife. [source]

4/// STOP EVERYTHING. In my quest for answers I found this video of a bride and groom who actually did learn the dance from Dirty Dancing, and performed it — with the famous lift even — to the delight of their reception guests. It’s making me feel like I dropped the ball as a bride. Then again, I didn’t go wedding dress shopping until just five months before my nuptials (apparently as close to the point of no return as possible if the look on the planner’s face is any measure at all) and ended up buying a second-hand gown for only $600, so I’d say I accomplished a little something too. But you should watch that video anyway. If that isn’t dedication, cooperation and partnership at its finest, I don’t know what is.

5/// In order to triumph in a battle of good versus evil, the couple must dance together in good will and harmony to ward off the evil armies of the worst sorcerer of the lands, defeating him with their happiness and newly officialized matrimony. And yes of course that one is made up. Maybe I should start a career as a fairy tale author.

So, all you all out there, that’s all that I have for you. Draw your own conclusions, make up a reason of your own (it’s fun), master a dance scene from a classic film (you can go the Disney route, but if you don’t have a grand staircase to walk down, maybe don’t even bother).

There are probably editorial/SEO/Internet magician rules that dictate that you shouldn’t post things on a Friday night when people of the world much hipper than this gal (ahem, me, ahem) are out having adventures befitting the onset of the weekend. But, whatever. I’m hitting the publish button, Internet magicians or not.

(That first photo of Dan and myself is by Justin Edmonds. The other two by yours truly.)