red eyes, send coffee || tips and tricks from a non-expert

I must have had an aneurysm of some kind because about a month ago, I agreed that taking a red-eye flight to Pennsylvania for our next wedding shoot was a good idea.

Not my finest moment.

But, the die is cast, the stage is set, the coffee is filtering (oh, that’s not a thing?), and like it or not, we are jumping on a flight tonight that will deposit us in to Pennsylvania at 6 a.m. ET.

Yippee?

Should you ever find yourself in this situation , here are some tips and tricks from a non-expert to get you through:

1. Try to nap in the afternoon before your late flight. This will give you a little reserve of rest, and give you a chance to break in your newly acquired and ever-handy blindfold, beauty rest, eye cover thing. You know the one.
2. When confronted with the choice of trying to nap on the plane, or ingesting more coffee to keep you going strong for the duration of your flight, always choose more coffee. More coffee is the answer to every question. I think Confucius once said that.
3. Load up on new tunes and reading material before boarding the plane. If you don’t have a “Get Psyched” mix — get one!
4. Don’t forget to pack your darkest pair of shades to don upon your arrival. Those red eyes and dark under-eye circles ain’t going to cover themselves.
5. Once on the plane and in the air, entertain yourself by crafting the airsickness paper bags into hats a la’ Martha Stewart. Try to get your seatmate to don a hat of his or her own. After that, the entire row, and from there…the whole plane. You’re all in this together, my friends, might as well wear silly hats. (The British monarchy’s motto I do believe.)
6. If you are the type that can sleep on airplanes, go ahead and catch a few zzz’s now. Those who are not that type (yours truly falls in that category), hence the more coffee mantra, locate your other non-sleepers. If one of them is within comfortable conversational distance, start chatting. See how many Airplane! references you can work in before they call you on it. “Surely you can’t be serious.” “I am serious…and don’t call me Shirley.”
7. Revel in the (relative) quiet, take comfort in the rejuvenation inherent with four blissfully, phone-free hours.
8. Just before you begin your final descent, ask for one more cup of coffee to jump-start your disembarking routine and entry into a new time zone and new day.

Congratulations! You survived another red-eye flight.

Now repeat after me: Never, ever again.